5:30 pm.

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She was pouring oceans off her eyes, forcing laughter to come out and clear off the muddy waters. I took her chick into my hand and let her drown. She was drowning beside me and I was thankful for that. My face lines were still steady; until one moment. We had swiched places and she was drowning into my eyes this time. The earth shook gracefully and I had to lift her up. 

” I have always loved your surname. I used to imagine a curly hair girl running on a marble path towards us, trying to prove she can pronounce it. I used to imagine us staring at her running towards our open arms. I imagined our home behind her and us competing with the world.” 

Saying all that was melting my insides. 

“She would pronounce it just like you”, she said. 

I smiled while my sorrows were learning once again how to swim.

In that moment, down on the road of memories, I found my mind being in control. I was terrified and at the same time, surpised of the accomplishment. It was easy to dictate my body’s next move despite the burning desire or the flaming heart. 

I was alright and at the same time, I was ruined. 

In my existence, I never gave hope such a great extension. 

I was giving a chance to another chapter. Life. And that was alright. 

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Dreaming of you and I.

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”I do not love you except because I love you” says Neruda.
There are moments I split in half his poetic line. I do not love you. Because I love you. There are seconds I feel weakened by this emotion. ”This” love. There are minutes I love you more and minutes I love you less. Wrong. There are just minutes I miss you more. Minutes I wish I could touch you. When it comes to love, all minutes feel the same.
I grew up hurting. I grew up knowing you but now knowing you. I grew up carrying you inside me but not having you for me. I grew up knowing you exist somewhere without ever being mine.
Now, you are. Mine. It feels like I’ve got a home. Having your heart cherish mine feels like I’ve conquered the whole universe.
That’s what I saw that night in your eyes. The universe. A dark sweet infinity. You are present in my dreams and your eyes are as vivid as the last time I witnessed them. I stare at the world, out of my bedroom’s window, in the train, the bus, out of my class’ window; I see you. I smile in pain because I miss you. I wish time passed quicker. It ain’t. It is always the same. I am not. You are not. Every single day my desire is more powerful. Your wonderful words touch deeper my wounded soul. You make me smile and cherish life. I am thankful for your existence my love. I close my eyes every night and images of you run through my mind as a film clip. I see you in front of me and I smile. I jump into your arms and I can smell your perfume. So sweet. You take my hand, hug me tight and I feel I have no air. I don’t mind. Your love is giving me oxygen. Then we walk and you cannot take your eyes off me. Mine are admiring yours. I feel your feverish skin and my insides are tickling me. This time though, the pain is gone. I have the most beautiful emotion, all my senses aroused for you. We reach out in a motel and I shut carefully the door behind me. Suddenly my body is pulled against it and my legs tight around your hips push your skin closer to mine. I feel all of you on me. Your lips, your hands, your breath. We loved each other like savages. We were a combination of wild hybrids and hopeless humans. I needed you and you needed me. All of me was given to you in a majestic union of flesh and souls.
You pulled me down and my feet are straight, still feeling myself trapped between you and the door. I push you back touching your chest and you fell on the bed. I am observing you; the way you look, needing. I cannot restrain myself anymore. You intoxicate me. Your skin is attracting me like a magnet. I put your hand in my hand while your hips are once again against mine pulling me closer. I want to unravel you, undress you from your blue shirt. My mind commands and my hands execute. Your brownish eyes are glowing, turning into all shades of maroon and perhaps greeny. You unbutton slowly my shirt kissing every territory of skin that’s revealed. I feel myself burning on the inside of rapture or desire or need. Or all of it at once. I watch over the window the moon. She is there, present while I move my eyes to you and smile. My hand moves along them and touches your face. My palm fills with your left cheek. You smile too and drag yourself on top quickly. I am overwhelmed by your power, your eyes, your skin, your hands, your breath, every inch of you, your heart. I am overwhelmed with love. I have you for me. The night falls moody, fills the universe with darkness but you can still illuminate. Our light is not shutting down. I am letting myself pulled even  closer and we become one. One infinite soul.

Feeling each other again.

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”I want to do to you what spring does to the cherry trees.”
You are blinking and the pupils of your brownish eyes cannot focus on mine. It is not that difficult to understand that your heart is racing. I can feel mine replying in the same rushing way. The sun is burning your skin, reflecting all of you in a grey shadow. From a distance I can also distinguish the brightness in that darkness. There is no wonder why the leaves from the trees smile. There is no wonder why the butterfly sets itself free. Its’ wings grow wider in a millisecond. There is no wonder why I am finding it hard to breath. Perhaps you do too. That moment when the distance between us is reduced to ten metres, our souls have already bonded somewhere in the middle of it. Every living creature expects us to feel each other. Your joy my love is reflected on your face. I see in the dark mirror on the ground my own happiness. I inhale. You exhale. I am dreaming. You are dreaming too. Somehow though we live into the same reality, captivated in a limbo of emotions and suddenly the earth is flooded with love. You and I; our hands are feeling the first urge to touch even further. There was no time, countable, existing time, time to count when our lips run into deep needing thoughts. The dizziness in my mind was completing your elevated blood pressure. As the cells of my skin felt yours they wouldn’t let go. I am wrapping my arms even tighter around you. I cannot let go. I have you for me; finally; I’m feeling you. Moments later I saw the dream continuing. Days later I understood it was real. I wondered but said nothing. I implied that the actual dream was that time we were separated. I described it as a nightmare. You were reading my thoughts and smiled at them implying your agreement. We said nothing because it was over. We were finally together. We never let go.