Short, straight, burnt caramel hair. I do not know of her eyes, neither their form nor their colour. Her smirk forced me to lower my chin while smiling back. I only observed her laughter and few of her gestures. I’ve also heard her curse and her face was extremely calm. She excused herself with a deep breath.
Later today, she walked by, eyes on the ground, a little bit tired, that’s how she seemed to me. Before that, she came again in the room. This time I looked at her eyes when her glare was focusing elsewhere. I saw the same burnt caramel colour. Her shirt was too chaotic, unfit, out of her standards. It amazes me how easily she changes. Her sceptical staring permitted me to watch her closer. The moment she laughed I tried to take my eyes of her but still, the chaotic shirt caught my eye. I was telling you about earlier when she walked by me. She gave me a quick look but I did not let our eyes meet, I narrowed my chin to the ground once again. The skin on the back of my neck tightened. It was something special about this woman, a mystery I will not understand but I wish I could explore.
You wonder no more about my thoughts and needs. You don’t know how much I need you by my side. For a minute I let myself believe that you didn’t exist but your aura still haunts me. I never feared love or myself more than I do now. The sky is grayish and tearful. Its’ resemblance to my mood is extraordinary. You continue to grow inside me like a blossom of anemone. There is no natural disaster that can overwhelm you, tear you apart and eventually lead to your death. There are moments I wish for your leaves to wither. But all I get is the chance to make this abnormal wish and then realize my nonsense on wishing something this cruel.
I am staring at a reddish glass of wine wondering whether my blood has the same color while burning because of you. I would pluck myself with a needle on my thumb to prove my thoughts right but that would be as nonsensical as my wish. I don’t need any proof to know that you still own my heart. There is a reason why you are still torturing me but I suppose I don’t want to know it. This desire is fatal for my soul. There is one thing I know for sure. I don’t regret carrying you in my heart. Not for a single minute. Despite my depressing thoughts, you can live there eternally, I won’t mind.