Source: Quick Sketches
Looking in the mirror, drop of rum on my tongue
With the warning
To help me see myself clearer
I never meant to start a fire
I never meant to make you bleed
I’ll be a better man today
And I’ll love the world, like I should
Yeah, I’ll be good, I’ll be good
For all of the time
That I never could
For years now
So I wield an iron fist
Grace is just weakness
Or so I’ve been told
I’ve been cold, I’ve been merciless
But the blood on my hands scares me to death
Maybe I’m waking up today
For all of the innocent things that I doubt
For all of the bruises I’ve caused and the tears
For all of the things that I’ve done all these years
Yeah, for all of the sparks that I stomped out
For all of the perfect things that I doubt
All of the times I never could.
It was mesmerizing. I can tell you that. The way Darkness was inhaling me was mesmerizing. I counted seven stars on the sky, a few humans around and the speed of the cars racing; infinite; at least in my mind. In reality, there was just a soul beside me, humidity in the air and a few cars running sixty miles per hour. But I did not want to see the reality because my surreal dream was so absorbing.
I went back to it and I began rambling again while staring at the spark of the lamp post.
We conversed about the mediocrity of the human soul; me and the universe. I had a soul beside me listening but my mindset was elsewhere. I was imagining myself on an untidy bed, a soul losing its’ mind into my eyes, between my legs.
Devouring a soul and lifting it up to the defining line of the universe it’s the most exquisite gifts a human can receive. Keeping it on the ground, sane and steady, can cause the syndrome of mediocrity. Judging the corruption of the soul would be a great mistake if you do so gentlemen. Define happiness if you can though and you will understand what I am mumbling about.
Perhaps you’re not interested in my definition of it but I am free to state it anyway.
Devouring happiness: the liberty of the soul to collude with the walls of dispair while reflecting itself into the depth of a moment’s realisation.
The eyes, love. The eyes. Lose yourself into the mournful excitement of those eyes.
Mediocrity. Lose it. Give it up. Chase your soul to the end of the world. Do not keep your greatness intact.
Ruin yourself, stay still and feel the adrenaline of your blood. Now you’re not mediocre anymore.
But, can you do that?
There it was my inspiration swinging like a flake before my eyes. I could see it but I could not touch it. My mind evoked a breeze, a hopeless wind that pushed it away, ravished it on the ground. But my inspiration would not let go. The gravity was not powerful enough to overtake its’ strength. My flake was floating helpless but still alive. For a moment there was no time. It was just a thin shadow in the air that was standing still, waiting for me to unlock the door of my mind. But I couldn’t. Even if I desired to diminish that door, I couldn’t. It was something more than I could conceive or accept. I feared a shadow had control over my subconscious. Perhaps that was it. Someone or something that controlled my emotions.
Unfortunately I figured it out. I was controlled by my own desperate thoughts. I wished I could go back to my dream. I wished for that silence that overwhelmed me.
The midday sun hays blurred my thoughts. Why?