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Between lust, pain and love there is a unique connection. As you know gentlemen, lusting for a woman, loving her and feeling the pain she can inflict you with is one of the saltest pleasures of life. But do not forget, that you might want to really live it if you dare to let yourself expecience it.

If you choose to do so, I will remind you that the journey is not an easy one.
I will also remind you that I am just a narrator of a story or multiple stories, depends on how you choose to see them.

“A lot of time has passed since that cold skin touched my hand. It was as if my hand touched the surface of the cool sea in a hot summer day. Likewise, the water felt cold as the body was filled with warmth. My skin felt as if a sparkling gas was running though me. That was the reaction of her hand in mine. At first, just one finger, then the other and then all of them curling with mine, not wanting to let go but still doing it.

Our hands let go and for those moments that followed my stomach felt a void supressing it.”
I will interrupt you by mentioning that letting go of a hand contrary to what you are feeling, gentlemen, it is included in the offer presented above. Love. Lust. Pain.

“Standing by her I second-guessed myself a thousand times in a minute. I asked silent questions that only I was able to answer. All amswers that came to mind were the exact opposite of what I desired in that moment and the few moments after. I knew that by the end of the night I will second-guesss my choices once again so I answered to all questions hoping that I won’t end up in that situation.
Even though my answers were rational, in that moment when our hands came back together, I did what I desired. And that desire, and every desire is the motivator and impulser of all actions, actions that as I said, I knew what other questions will bring up.”

Gentlemen, please, tell me: are we allowed to act by our desires and not to be blamed for creating a certain chaos to seas that have achieved a certain piece with the universe?
“I thought I would be lost without love, lust and pain so I disturbed the balance to feel it just for a few minutes. What if though the balance of nature shouldn’t be disturbed? ”

“Come to me, I want to see you standing in front of me. She approached leaned on the drawer behind her.
I had no words to say but that desire that overwhelmed me all day. Finally now that I got her standing here all dressed up, my only wish was to take those clothes off her just how I want it. I asked her to say nothing and do nothing. She understood every silent word of mine. I run my hand under her shirt slowly, up on her back and down on her neck bones, continuing the journey further to her weist and up again to take off her underwear. I didn’t undress her, she wore all her clothes except her underwear. She gasped and closed her eyes feeling my fingers on every inch of her skin.
I approached my mouth to the corner of her mouth and I kissed it, I tasted the skin between her breasts and up to her earlobe. I wrapped one hand around her lifting her up on the drawer and the other couldn’t just wait anymore. I wanted to drown her and do it my way. Have her as I wished and as I pleased. My greatest pleasure was hearing her heavy breath in my ear as she came for me.

That was my desire.”

Can I be forgiven for that gentlemen?
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Posted: https://livelovesmilee.wordpress.com/2014/06/22/do-you-love-him/

Original post (uncensored):

          Dear stranger,
I do not. Perhaps what I am saying seems a little, or a lot, nonsensical but you asked for my sincere answer and you should know that a sincere answer is what I am giving to you. I do not love him. I find it easy to admit or agree to such a thing and the reason why is simpler than you could ever percept. Whatever this feeling that cursed me is, it goes deeper than love. Since humans haven’t found a word for that yet or we may never find, I won’t let myself indulged into its’ charm. For love I have felt and it was not like this. It was indeed powerful, every emotion was triggered by it, but now, now it’s more than that. Now, the infinity of my feelings transfixes my body and has turned my feelings into a hunting warren. A warren of desire, seduction, empathy, vivacious feelings, feelings that if you ask me; I could even live for as eternity lies at dawn.
Maybe I should let you know, hoping you would understand my questioning this ”love” you want to name, that I have become a feathery person, sometimes even feeble. I am asking you please not to judge me or try to convince me that I should reconsider my statements, all because I will not. I am not gloomy. Do not ever understand that. I am as flippant as the hays of the sun on the sunup. You should see my expression now. A sough just escaped my lips, such a sweet and perky sough! It’s tingling my heart; this image of a demi-vierge person who craves for me as I crave for him every night. This rapture or cannibalistic need of flesh, which many of us may not understand, it’s provoking me a deep sensation of amour. I do not say love dear stranger. Mark that. I am biting my lower lip at the very moment and the hotness in the air has made my skin sweat. My humid lips have a salty taste of sweat. The hot breeze, the closed window, the feeble night, they all remind me of him. They all make me crave him even more, even sweeter. How can I make it understandable to you dear stranger?
In a parallel reality, where he exists only for me, or we might say that he is here for me, he touches my lower lip, undressing it from its’ salty taste with his own big softy lips. I fear writing to you the rest of the details so if you wish you can stop reading. If not, well…read on.

     I have a need to reprint into words the dream that fed my desire two nights ago. I was intrigued dreaming the same thing twice in one night. Perhaps, or as someone today implied, it was either my fear or desire, that broke the chains to dreaming wetly. Yes, dear stranger, wetly.

     In a former letter I have described you the expression on his face, of my saturnine man of course, but I omitted the erotic details. Those are that I am thinking about though. As I said, passion and rapture feed my dreams. His hand ran into me. As you see it, into me. Filling me completely. And oh! I would be called a liar if I didn’t admit that I loved it. More importantly, I felt it. My dream felt more real than any other dream. I am embarrassed admitting such a thing, or concerned of my own burning desires. However, I should tell. It was more than one sensation. My body was flooded. I felt like an ocean which couldn’t support any more water. Close to every imagination I have had, this dream pulled me to the edge, as all I have been thinking about the last forty eight hours is that.

     On a third long parallel line, runs my heart competing to all the above or helping them get to infinity. I do not know what it actually does but I feel it running. It has become a beast, a warrior among cyclops. I shall not lie, I do feel deep feelings for him. As I said at the beginning, it is all about some other inexplicable feeling that has not been yet named because there is no greater than that. Writing the last sentence, perhaps I stupefy my own self for writing about ‘love’ as the greatest of all, but you should know, I am not. All I want you to do is understand the difference.

     If I was a bird, closed into a roost, perhaps he would be my branch. In other words, he would be the freedom I have gained for myself. In even more words, he would be the one thanks to whom I have set my wings free to live without perks or boundaries, waking up every morning, setting my self to sleep, all with the knowledge of something greater than what we already know. Perhaps, life is all about that dear stranger. Perhaps not. You should not indulge into my thoughts, just listen and understand them.
As I said, I do not seek my cage anymore.”